Returning Home

Returning Home

We were all standing at James's looking around at the empty house, the house had that empty feel about it, like no one had ever lived there at all.  All around the same emptiness, the same feeling that something terrible had happened.  It had a constricting feel to it, like the whole world had suffocated, and was now spinning out of control. 

Of course it wasn’t the whole world spinning, just ours.

As I looked back towards James’s place I could see Cara and Sara crying.  James is staring at the sky; he looks like a puppet, a lifeless toy.  Lee is talking to Rose in a sad whisper.  Kvan is pacing back and forth as though his steps were all that were keeping him from falling into despair.

I Looked back towards the mountains we had just returned from, wondering if that wild place was really even a little bit deserving of the nickname of Hell we had given it? Because surely this must be hell!  Looking back at the trees with their soft green leaves the small shrubs with their bright yellow flowers the rough rocks and the dangerous cliffs, and mountains, no that wasn’t hell.

Hell was the empty houses, the vast barren ground, the starved and dying animals.  The cries of the innocent, the tears of a child, the feeling of loneliness that was so strong it could crush you, that was Hell. 

Which is where we were now, emerging from the safety of the mountains and the forests, into a war zone. A war zone that we didn't understand and couldn't explain.

The view of the barren landscape and deserted homes was frightening. Where had everyone gone, where were our families. Why had they left? Who had burned so many of the houses and destroyed  everything around us.

I felt sick, I felt afraid. A deep fear that sank deep into my soul, one that I would always carry with me; it would always be in my life, and my dreams, even when the war was over.